Never the same

Ok let me take you back about a year ago. IT was a Friday afternoon about 5:30 bbecause i had just gotten outta work. I get in my car and star driving home. At the stop light i lit upwhat was my last cigarette and i dint have money to buy another pack, so I said like I did every other time i couldn't afford anpther pack, "that's it! im quitting" little did i know what was gonna take place later that night. I get home and im just sitting in my car waiting to finish my cigarette and just killing time untill the Fuse. i finnally fginished and said " This is it God, no more cigarretes for me". yeah , how many times have i said that before. so the time came for me to go to the Fuse. I had my worship music on in the car, just singing along but all i couild really think was how i couldnt have another cigarrete even if i wanted to because i was BROKE and that made me want it even more. So i get to church, say hi to a couple people and sit down, just another friday nothing different. Worship takes place and i had just started attending the Fuse so i wasn't so confortable going to the altar. ok , so worship is over and Pastor Nick starts speaking just saying this beautiful message that honestly i cant remember exactly what it was ...lol. Its was like i was in OFF mode and all od the sudden i hear hime say " NEVER THE SAME, NEVER THE SAME, NEVER THE SAME" those words activated something in me and i was on fire. He then had ALtar call but guess what?... I was still too embarrassed to go up but let me tell you, that didnt stop from doing His will. I was crying outta control and i didn't know why. Then i started praying this prayer " God, dont let me leave the same, cahnge something in me. I want to have thats life changing encounter with you". i was trembling, crying, had this overwhelmed feeling but i coudnlt understand what was going on. God was giving me the encounter i asked for. Service was over put His presence was thick that people stayed to soak. I left, but i didnt leave the same. That very day, that very exact moment, God answered my prayer and a miracle took place. It has been a little more than a year that i have NOT picked up a cigarrete nor do i crave one. After smoking for over 10 years my addiction wasnt bigger then my God and in Him all things are made possible. The Bible says in Mat7:7 " ask and it will be giving to you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be open to you" His word never comes back empty because I aked and it was giving to me.I seeked and I found, I knocked and he open for me. I am ever so thankfull for where i am in Him today.


Lord thank you for that encounter that started all the other encounters. I thank you for being my strenght when things get rough andf i know that you have everything under contol.You are my everthing and i love you so much. In Jesus name i pray.. AMEN!!!!

The king of pop is dead but the King of Kings is alive

Michaels death seems to be the talk of the town. How everyone seems to get all worked up about it. Yes it is truly sad but thats part of life. We all have an ending to our story. Someone had mention how their childrens children will probably hear about this, just like we still hear about Elvis. BUT what about Jesus? He also died, and no body seems to be as excited about Him. Is it because its "old" news now? I have gotten tons of texts from ppl, crazy twitters and on facebook too and everyone is talking about MJ but when someone mentions Jesus He don't get the same respond. Its sad how The King of Glory dies for us to live and the crowd goes silent and when the king of pop dies the crowd goes wild. We need to get that same excitement back. My King gives me Life, Joy, Peace. He is my Provider, my Savior, my All. He is my strength when I am weak, 2corinthians 12:9-10. His Grace is all I need. He sacrificed His life for ME. I don't know about you but that's something to get excited about. He knows everything about me (us). What makes us cry, what makes us laugh. How many times we toss and turn at night. He know the desires of our hearts and get this.. He gives them to us just like that.. That's how much He loves us. It doesn't stop there. He knows what we need when we need it and will even help us get there. He make all things work for my good. He loves me, He loves me He loves me, that's more than enough for me. His "death" might have been long long time ago and not right outta the press but its still an IMPACT. The bible says the only way to get to Heaven is thru the Son and all He wants is our hearts in return than He can have all of me:my heart, soul and mind.

Jesus thank you for who You are. For what You stand for. For the sufficient love You have for us. For giving us nothing but the best. For walking with me hand by hand. For being my strength. Thank You for being my Savior and I know that without You I would have nothing. I love you and I will shout of joy when it comes to You. AMEN

Courage

Then David said to the Philistine " You came to me with a sword, you came to me with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the LORD of host, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied." 1 Samuel 17:45



David knew the Lord was with him therefore he was able to face what was ahead of him. How many of us know that God is with us but don't know know.. you know?...lol... We know that God is with us but we don't believe it. Could you imagine if everyone of us walked around with the courage David had to face our problems today, knowing that He's right there with us. It would be a powerful world and the enemy will be powerless against us. I my self have a lot to learn but I want to someday walk around with my head held up high and with such authority and confidance and yet still be humble. To be able to face my problems head on because I know I have Jesus. The enemy will continue to attack us just like with David although he defeated Goliath that time, it wouldn't be the last of his obstacles. David went through more blocks in his life but he kept going because he knew who was with him. And because of his obedience David came to be great in the Lords eyes and the king of a nation. Our obstacles today makes us who we need to be tomorow.



Father I pray that I stay in tune with you, ur commands and ur wishes. Make me strong to overcome whatever comes to attack me and try to get me against ur will. I pray that you make me more like you and that i understand who you are more. I want more of you, in Jesus name. Amen

UMM, UMM, UMM

Im still so pumped up from this Sunday. They had a free breakfast at the CWCM campus and the Easter production. I have this excitement for Jesus right now that i cant control. I feel like I have A.D.D...lol.. I cant stand still. I love to see people comming together for one purpose. I am so blessed to have been a part of it. I can not wait for next Sunday in San Jose. I have all this thoughts in my head just roaming and i cant put them together to make sense, thats how excited I am. You how when a little kid is trying to tell you an exciting story and they get ahead of them selfs and they keep saying "umm, umm , umm " and continue the story and none of it makes sense to you but in their head it all make perect sense. Thats me right now..lol.. I just wanna run up and down the halls but im @ work so i have to wait till lunch. well mabe i picked the wrong time to blogg cus im too wired to focus so i'll get back to you later.. tootles..lol

DIFFERENT VIEW

I could easily start this by saying how difficult my week has been etc etc, but that would be giving the enemy credit which i don't intend to do. Instead I'm going to start by changing my focus on Jesus and seeing things through His eyes. I see God just working issues within me and building character in me. Testing how well i handle "difficult people" and btw i failed..lol.. but that's OK because i have a God who forgives me and loves me and takes me side by side and HELPS me deal with issues so i don't fail again. i cant wait to see what God is doing in my life and the outcome of all chaos.


Father i pray that you give me strength to get through this. Also keep me focus on the import things and not give in. Thank you for doing what it is your are doing because i know that is working for my better good. I love you, Amen.

AHHH...AHHH

OK so here's the issue. I'm going to be in the Easter Production and I have never been so nervous. I don't know why, well I kinda have an idea.. I guess I'm scared to fail, to mess up the play. I know its very important so I have a lot of pressure, and I only have like 10 lines...lol... ( I know whack right..) Its really getting to me... u might think that I'm making it a big deal but I don't like to speak in front of people, I stutter, my mind goes blank, I get a rush etc etc. I don't like to be the center of attention, I'm more of a back stage kinda girl. This is really, really I mean really stepping out of my comfort zone and I'm so like ahhhh I cant do it. I'm going to do it any way but I ask those of you out there to pls pray for me to have strength to do it, that everything comes out smooth and that I don't stutter..lol.. or get stuck... dude I'm like so shaking right now I have butterfly's in my stomach just to think about it and its getting closer and closer.


God I know I have prayed for this before but I just ask that give me courage to go thru with this. That you will be the one speaking and not me. To take the fear out of me to be able to do you will. In Jesus name, Amen.

support system

I learned something new today, I learned that not everyone in your life is there for to benefit you. Sometimes God places people in our paths to just drain us so that He may be able to fill us up again. Everyone has a purpose in your life. We also need to have a support group that will lift our spirits when we are down. Jesus himself had his own support group, Peter, James and John. Not to say that He had favorites but those were His people. He took them to places He didn't take the other disciples. He also had 3 more people who supported him outside his 12. Martha, Mary and Lazarus. Jesus was able to just go to Martha's house and just unwind. Able to just relax and be served instead of serving. We need to find our Martha's and Marys in our life, our Peter John and James to get us through things. God never intended for us to go through trails alone, we have Him to rely on and also our real friends to count on who God himself put them in our paths.

God I thank you for the group of people who you chose to be my friends. For the great support I have with my CWC family. I thank you for you and the love you have for me and knowing that I'm not alone and I have you to lean on. Truly yours

I commit

I commit to being fit by the end of 2008. To lose just a couple lbs...lol.. Nah, to lose the Lbs needed to be fit. Not to look good because I do already..lol.. But to feel better. I wanna live a long time to spread the good news and I can't do that if I continue like this. Every year my resolutions were to lose weight and to quit smoking. Well last year I quit smoking ..(Yaaaay God) and now I gotta work on my weight. It really hit me when we did the week of prayer at the beginning of the year. On the last day when we did the prayer on top of the hill, oh wee, that killed me. I tried to walk up that hill like a champ and when I got to the top, my heart was beating so fast I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. I couldn't catch my breath I was trembling. It was a slap in the face. Like I could really die and soon if I don't start taking care of my self. I have lost 5 Lbs since then and have more to go but I know that with God all things are possible. My goal is to walk up that hill again next year like a true champ and not have any problem when I reach the top.

I Thank you...

I'm so excited for all the things that's God is doing in my life. How much I have grown from when He first saved me. How much I have learned and wanna learn. I'm always asking my pastor questions about this and that, and I'm sure he's like ugh..LOL..but I'm still gonna ask (sorry P. Nick) =) . I wanna be in leadership some day but I know that I'm no way near ready. God knows the desires of my heart and has been giving me hints here and there to let me know I'm going in the right direction. He has been working with me and what I love the most is that its at my pace, He's not rushing things to happen and hasn't giving me more than I can handle. I know that I still have a long way to go but I have to start preparing now and even if I don't make it in leadership I would still have the experiences and know Jesus on a deeper level and no one can take that away. Its a win win situation if you ask me =).

I thank you Father for the work you are doing. For allowing me to make a difference in peoples lives even if it just one. I thank you for believing in me and just being there for me every step of the way. For surrounding me with people that have the same goal in life and that also help me prepare to what you have called me to be. I love you!!!!! Amen

Not an ordinary day

This morning I asked God to give me a different experience and that He did. Before work I stopped at a liquor store to buy something to drink. As I was walking in, there was this old homeless standing by the door way. He looked tired, hungry and physically he looked like he hadn't showered in months and he smelled like it too. I went in the store got my drink and decided to give him some money to buy something to eat. I walk out, handed him the money and said "God bless you". I walked over to my car and before I got in I turned back to see him and he was gone. I walked back in to the store and he was not inside, I walked around the building to see if he was around there and nope he wasn't anywhere near. Now I know he couldn't have gone far because the store is in the middle of no where and any direction you walk, you cant miss them. So I came to the conclusion since there's is no other explanation that it was a test from God and that homeless guy was an Angel. It gives me chill just to remember. Then I get to work and as it is very slow I take my bible out and start reading. In walks this costumer who come in a lot that I have a hard time liking her. Her personality, they way she treats others just annoys me. Well she saw I was reading the bible and told me how she just started going to a christian church and how she loved everything about it. How she was just amazed at everything she learned and how she wants more. Next thing you know we were talking about how God is and how we were created in his image and also to worship him. An hour had past by and we couldn't stop talking, it was so crazy. There I was talking to this lady who I couldn't stand before telling her the beauty of Jesus. It was a different experience all right and the day is halfway done. I cant wait to see what God has planned out for the rest of my day.


Father thank you for being who you are. Thank you for giving this opportunity to share with others and to also learn from this experience. The bible says "Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." and that is exactly what you have been doing with me. I love you but not for what you have done to me but because of who you are and what you have done for others. With love Amen!

Breakthrough

I had a breakthrough last night during our Sozo class. They asked us to search deep inside and ask God to show us what is keeping us from certain things we wanna do. Basically Sozo ourselves. I started with something simple and when he showed me I was like WOW. It all made perfect sense. OK my issue has always been 'praying for others' not being able to say what needs to be said. Feeling unworthy to be up there, but he told me yesterday how can I help pray for others when I my self don't ask. Like before when they did Altar call I wouldn't go up to ask for anything because I don't know what to ask for. I never liked asking for anything, I figured if some one wants to give, then they will. I just realize maybe I'm afraid of rejection so I rather not ask..hmmmm..I pray all the time but I'm not specific on what I pray for. I pray for him to protect my son, my family, to keep us from temptation etc etc, but I never ask for like a better job or a better car or ummm I don't know my own place. I feel like if I ask for all those things or anything to benefit ME then I'm being selfish. I guess what he was trying to tell me was that how can I do it to others when I have never experience it my self. At Altar call people will tell me what they want prayer for and all I have to do is come in to an agreement. Funny I have heard all this before but I didn't understand it until God broke it down for me. How awesome is He!

Focus

NUMBERS 14: 3-4 "Why has the LORD brought us to the land to fall by the sword, that our wives and children should become victims? Would it not be better for us to return to Egypt?" So they said to one another " Let us select a leader and return to Egypt"

God will never trick you into something that might harm you. Everything He does is to benefit us because He loves us. He heard His children's cries and delivered them from Egypt but all they did was complaint on how "bad" they have it now and yet forget how bad they had then. It is easy to forget where we came from and take what we have for granted. Even thought our past does not define who we are, we still gotta learn from it. I'm sure they were scared to go forward and that's why they complaint thought the years. Its hard to follow something you cant see and thought they had the promise right around the corner, it was hard for them to see tomorrow. Our promise has always been right there for us to grab a hold of but we chose to make it harder on ourselves by not focusing on God.We consume all of our energy in whats going on around that we miss whats right in front of us. For some of us today its easy to fall back into the world, to go back to our old way. God never intend to make them walk around the desert for 40 years. If they would've only listen to Gods word instead of themselves they would have made it to the promise land sooner. That basically applies for us today. God is anxiously waiting to give us our promise but since we aren't 100% committed to him we keep falling short.

Father I pray that you keep my eyes fixed on you and not on my surroundings for I don't wanna take 40 years for my promise. All though times are rough right now I thank you because I have you to fall back on. Thank you for all the love you have for and for showing yourself to me when u did. I love you!! Amen

ON FIRE

I'm so fired up right now I feel like AHHHHHHHHH...lol. Man I was so filled with the Holy Spirit from the minute I walked into worship during first service till the end of the second service. It was so outta my control. God was working me and I loved it. I didn't fight it, I didn't care about anyone there but God and me. We had a guest speaker and his wife at church and they were good. They had a good word and it explained a lot to me. They pretty much prayed for every individual there. His wife gave me a word but I was so consumed with the Spirit of God that I cant really remember what was said. I kinda remember her saying something about my hands and she made sure to put an emphasis on HANDS like telling me I have 2 hands and I was gonna do great with both and I had no limits. I really don't have a problem with it ....now.... but it took a lot of pain growing up for me to get here. I had been laughed at, called "hang lose", pushed of the bike like 5 times just for being different. Having little kids spit on my face for just no reason at all. Those are just a few. Until one day it hit me and I didn't care anymore. Its true when they say God will turn your weakness into strengths. I love that I'm unique. Really I'm one of a kind and He takes pride in the way He made me. I am capable of doing anything every "normal" person does just tweaked a little and better...lol...anyways to sum it all up God is so AMAZING...

You are WORTH dying for...

So here's the scene,
He's on the Cross, doing the will of the Father and number one thing on His mind... is you.
Yep, Jesus went to the Cross because
1) He was gonna do the will of God and
2) He wanted you to be able to have the relationship with Him desired. Jesus...
He took it ALL for YOU!!! Every beating He got was for you. He didn't care that it hurt, He wanted to set you free. See Jesus wants you to understand that through all the pain that He went through it was worth it. Jesus says this to you, "You are WORTH dying for!!" See the thing that we sometimes forget is Jesus already knew who wouldn't love Him, who wouldn't believe in Him, who would betray Him, yet even when He knew that He still took it all on the Cross for you. None of us deserve what Jesus did/ does for us. But the fact of the matter is He did all for us. Don't let people tell you that you are worth nothing. Don't tell yourself that you are worth nothing because it's not true!! Just ask Jesus, He knows! love ya'll!


Now those of you who know me, know that i didnt write this and your right i didnt ..LOL... but it was just so powerful to me that i had to share with others.

Short and Simple yet Powerful

Lord, here I am to serve you. I love you and without you I'm nothing. You go before and your hand is in everything I do. I want more of you, so I will continue to seek you until you and I are one. I wanna be at that next level with you and I am ready for whatever you have in stored for me. Take my heart for it belongs to you now. I love you

Sincerely yours

In His Presence

Yesterday was a powerful day for me. After the 11 o'clock service I went home to find that certain people I live with were talking behind my back. I felt betrayed, angry, I just blew it. I didn't tell them anything but I was just so full of anger that I decided to go to the 5 o'clock service in Spanish. As I walked in the room I walked in to the presence of God. It felt as if he was just waiting for me to arrive. I broke down. I have only experience that encounter a couple of times before, but yesterday was different. He was there holding me, taking my pain away, showing me his beauty. I was stuck, the only thing that I could say was " I love you" over and over again. As I kept worshiping him I felt his presence get stronger and stronger and then all of the sudden there was a moment of peace with in me, my anger was no longer there, I was full of his love. Then pastor James started preaching and I felt how he was just speaking to me. He said something that just got to me, he said " Jesus is in the business of changing hearts" . Just like he changed my heart around, he will change theirs, and I should just leave it up to God. I must be doing something right and going in the right direction if the enemy is trying to bring me down that bad. This isn't the first attack and as I continue my walk with God it wont be the last. This attack only made me want God more. I wanna have more of those encounters with him, I wanna be in his presence every second of my life, He is so amazing. I love it because as I sit here writing this I'm trembling and I feel full of joy.



God I thank you for last night experience I hope that it wont be the last. I thank you for feeding me what you have and still be hungry for you. I don't wanna settle for this level in my life and I pray that you take me to the next level in my life in Jesus name Amen.... I love you

His Love Never Fails...

His love never fails and that couldn't be more true. A couple of years ago I lost everything, I was in a big depression and the only thing that seemed to help me get away from it all (so i thought) was partying, drinking, clubbing, just getting all the wrong attention. Jesus was the farthest thing on my mind. He knew I wasn't gonna ask for his help but he send it anyway. When I was in my deepest sin he came to me. While I was clubbing I met this guy, we clicked right away we made a pact that no matter what happened we will remain friends and that's exactly how it was. He became my best friend, looked out for one another. He saw the real me and loved me anyway. He motivated me to the better and helped me to get out of my depression. He was my Guardian Angel sent from Heaven. I couldn't see it then but now I look back and see how much God loves me that he used Germane to help me when I didn't wanna help my self. God knew I didn't wanna hear him so he used my surroundings to get to me. About 7 months ago my Guardian Angel was murder and it was a pain unlike any other, but the Lord still loves me so much he send me to The Fuse 2 moths prior to Germane's death preparing me for what was coming. To ease my pain he put me in a room full of people who cared about me just as much as Germane did, who want whats best for me. The fact that he would do all that for me shows me how much he loves me, so to return the love I will serve him with all my might and then some...lol


Lord you have been nothing but good to me throught out the years and I'm so thank full I found you. Thank you for all your love. I love you


p.s. Tell Germane I said hello...=)

The Perfect Moment

Luke 23:12 That day Herod and Pilate became friends- before this they had been enemies.



It's so amazing how Jesus never stops working. Even as he is being accused of well.... nothing really , he still manages to bring people together. The time was not a perfect time I mean he was gonna be crucified in a matter of time but he was still doing what he came to do and that is bringing people together and whats crazy is that they didn't even know they were being worked on. Sometimes we wait for"The Perfect Moment" to make new friends, to talk to old ones, to talk about the love of Jesus but we end up waiting around for ever because there's is no such thing as the prefect moment. I don't know about you but I'm tired of waiting around. I gotta reconnect with old friends and even with some enemies, put all of our differences aside and let them know about the beauty of God. They might not wanna listen to me now but it doesn't matter because the seed has been planted. I wont wait around for people to come talk to me to make new friends but I will make the first move to make new ones.


Lord, I thank you for pointing out this scripture just in time as I been meaning to check in with a few old friends. I also thank you for making me the way u did, I will use that as a tool to bring people and get to know you. once again thanks.. with love.. Amen!

Do Not Fear, Just Trust

Exodus 4:11 So the LORD said to him "Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing or the blind? Have not I the LORD ? "


Moses was afraid to go speak to Pharaoh because of his speech problem. Most of us today end up short of doing what we should be doing because of our fears. Afraid of what people might say or afraid of what may happen. Afraid of doing or saying something wrong. We don't realize that if we seek God first He will always give us strength to over come our fears, and what once was our weakness will be our strength. Take me for instance, I am part of the Prayer Team but I don't go up to Altar call because I am afraid of not saying the right things. I have this problem when I get nervous, anxious, or scared my mind goes blank and everything comes out twisted so I can definitely relate to Moses. I have learned that its not about me at the Altar call. The Holy Spirit will use me to say exactly what He needs to say to every individual. How selfish of me to say ask him to use me in any way, shape or form but not go up there when I'm needed.



LORD I pray that you take the fear out of me. I know that everything will come out exactly according to your plan. I trust in you! Love you always !!!! Amen.

Here I Am

I never understood why I have been single all this time. I mean I'm loving, beautiful, funny, did I mention loving,beautifull and funny...lol...Well I would pray to find some one who would love me, take care of me, protect me and support me in any way but still nothing. Well yesterday God gave me and answer to why I am still single, You see if i wasn't single I wouldn't be able to attend The fuse (a singles group at my church) and be a part of a major movement. It is at The fuse that I have most of my encounters with the Lord. This past Friday God finally gave me my purpose. You see I do have some one who provides for me. Who takes care of me, who protects me and supports me but most of all who loves me and that some is God. I don't need anyone else. Even tho I'm not lost, I still didn't have a sense of direction, I still didn't have a purpose but know I know why I AM HERE . i am here to bring people to the Lord. let me take you back 7 months ago, I didn't have anything that I didn't have before I met Jesus. I still have the same job, the same car, the same problems, the same everything the only different thing now is that I have Jesus in my heart and let me tell you, life couldn't be better. Once you accept Jesus in you heart your life completely changes for the better. I wanna be that one who helps changes life. I wanna let God use me in anyway possible to make a difference and with that being said I will do anything possible to bring his children back to him just like I came back. There is NOTHING like the gift of Jesus.

Lord i pray that u give me focus to do what u have called me to do. I pray that I remain your humble servant and that you may use me to make an impact. I thank you for NOT giving everything I ask for, for you have a bigger agenda for me. I LOVE YOU